Desperate Book Study {Chapters 3 & 4}

Desperate Book Study @

Desperate Book Study @

Chapter 3: Formulas Don’t Always Work

I LOVED this chapter! It really spoke right to my heart.

I am a woman who loves formulas, and very much likes to live inside the box. It’s safe in there. Neat and clean.

But once I became a mama, I realized that there wasn’t just one formula. There wasn’t just one box. There wasn’t just one opinion. There were thousands upon thousands and they were coming at me from every side. From parenting styles to discipline strategies to education philosophies. It’s enough to make one’s head spin.

For a while I tried to fit myself into different boxes, but I never could find the right fit. I liked a few things from one box, but didn’t buy into the whole package. And then I found another box that had a lot of attractive qualities, but there were a few things that just didn’t work for our family.

And then one day it dawned on me. I was the one creating the boxes. No one was forcing me to choose one over the other. So I began to view all of the formulas and philosophies more like a buffet. A line where I could take a little bit of this, a lot of that, pass one section up entirely, and go back for seconds at the dessert bar.

When I stopped putting pressure on myself to be exactly like someone else, I could finally begin listening to my heart and follow my God-given instincts to choose and to do what worked best for our family.

I loved what Sally has to say about creating a unique family culture…

“Every family’s puzzle will be different. We can only please God if we listen to His call on our lives. Each of us has a different personality, different strengths and limitations, and different passions and stewardships. God gives us great freedom to exercise wisdom and authority in order to rule over our lives and make them productive for our own families.”

“Of course it requires faith to be yourself, to embrace your own ideals and family design. But living according to the voice of God’s Spirit is always the way to freedom, joy, and fulfillment. Living by faith and cultivating your own purposes give you energy to pursue what is on your heart and to take your children along with you in the advancing of those ideals”

I can’t say enough about how much I needed to hear this!

How about you? Have you been or are you overwhelmed by the parenting philosophies, formulas, and opinions out there? Have you found and embraced your unique parenting style and family culture?


Chapter 4: Oh Right, There’s Sin

Have you ever noticed that when you are having an off week as a mama, your kids also seem to be having an off week? Have you ever wondered if their whining and bad attitudes are just a mirrored reflection of your own?

That has been my life this week. I don’t know what my problem was, but I have been a grumpy mommy for the past few days. And guess what? My boys have been whining and complaining and fussing.

Yesterday I had to apologize to my boys because I didn’t like the message I had been sending them with my impatience and bad attitude.

“I am sorry that Mommy has been so crabby. It’s not your fault. Sometimes Mommy’s just have bad days. I just want you to know that I love you no matter what. There is nothing you can do to make me not love you.”

I needed to say this and they needed to hear it. Sometimes it can be hard on my adult/mom pride to admit my wrongs to my children, but it is so very important.

I think that the best way for us to teach our children that “all have sinned” and are in need of God’s grace, is by walking it out in front of them. They already know that their mama’s aren’t perfect. They are with us all the time . They see us messing up, and it does not do them or us any good for us to pretend that we are perfect.

They need to see us repenting. They need to see us crying out to God for help and for strength. They need to see us walking in humility and grace.

I don’t want my kids to grow up with just head knowledge of God’s grace, I want them to have seen God’s redeeming grace at work in their mama’s life.

I love what Sarah Mae says to her children…

“Mommy needs help just like you. I need Jesus every day because I mess up, but He is gracious to love me and help, and He will help you too. We’re in this together.”

How has motherhood helped you see your great need for God’s grace? Do you view your children’s negative behavior differently when taking into account your own sinful nature? How does that affect your discipline?


What were your biggest takeaways from these chapters?

I would love to get some conversations started in the comments, so please share your thoughts!

Go ahead and start reading Chapters 5 & 6 and meet me back here next Friday to discuss!



Desperate Book Study


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