Distracted By Fear

During the IF:Gathering, the Lord showed me three specific ways that I have been allowing myself to be distracted from fully being the Woman of God and leader He has called me to be. Last week I shared how I am easily distracted by others when I allow too many voices to influence me or when I spend too much time looking at what others are doing causing me to lose sight or confidence in what God has called me to do. Today I will be sharing my third distraction.

Distraction #3: Fear of Not Being Enough

Although I have been giving myself permission to dream and to say yes to my callings outside of motherhood, beautiful motherhood still remains my biggest God-sized dream and I will always consider discipling my children to be my greatest ministry.

So I am very hesitant when I think of saying yes to anything outside of the context of motherhood and my family because I fear that I am not capable of doing both well.

Ministry and motherhood. How can they fit together? Can I do both with excellence?

I find so much encouragement in this quote…

“For years I tried to juggle all the elements of life. I knew there was a God call on my life to be in ministry, and yet I also knew that it could never be at the expense of my family. When I tried to juggle all the boxes, I learned the hard way that it is difficult to keep them all from crashing down. So I no longer have boxes for marriage, ministry, and motherhood. Instead God has shown me that there is a divine order for my life. Instead of trying to make sure that everything is balanced (there is no prescribed formula of balance), God showed me that I am to break out of the box mentality and instead seek Him for divine order for my life. Each day differs from the day before. The dynamics change, but the call on my life doesn’t. Marriage, motherhood, and ministry are all cohesively part of that call. God anoints us for our entire call.”

~ Darlene Zschech, Extravagant Worship

I love that! God anoints us for our entire call.

I may not be enough, but He is.

I have many creative idea and there are so many opportunities out there that I could get involved with, but my reality is that I am a busy homeschooling mom of 3 young children, and I only have a little bit of time and energy to give to something, so I need to make sure it is the right and worthy thing.

Every little thing that we give our focus and attention to matters to God and I believe each one should be prayed about before a yes or no is given. Because if I move forward with MY ideas or commit myself to opportunities that He did not place before me, I will be acting on my own strength and I am not enough without Him.

Guilt

But when God calls us to take action on our dreams and places opportunities before us while we are busy operating in our divine calling of motherhood, we have to trust that He loves our children more than we do and that His grace will prevail.

I want to share with you this powerful confession that Helen Lee gave at the IF:Gathering. The Lord used her honest and brave words to set me free from these feelings of fear, anxiety, and guilt I have been struggling with as a mom.

“I confess that the way I mother my kids does not demonstrate the way I believe God has their plans and futures in His hands. I mother like I have their plans and futures in MY hands.

I confess that I mother from a place of fear and anxiety and worry about their futures because I don’t fully trust God has their futures firmly in His hands.

I confess that I am way too hard on my kids, not from a Spirit of trying to raise them to be true men of God one day, but because I want them to achieve success in the way the world sees success. I want them to be great at things so that people will say ‘Wow, you’re kids are great at _________’ and because at the end of all that, what I want people to say is that ‘You’re mom is doing an awesome job.’ I want people to look at me and say, ‘You’re a great mom because you have great kids.

I don’t want the world’s affirmation to be what drives me as a mother. The most important thing I can do as a mother for my kids is to love them. Love them as they are for who they are for who God has made them to be unconditionally the way Jesus loves me.

We must let go of our distrust and disbelief and believe that God has so much more intended for our kids than we could ever ask or hope for. He has their futures fully in hand. We don’t need to be anxious or driven. We can just be moms resting in His grace and giving our kids that same grace.”

~ Helen Lee, IF:Gathering Confessions, 2015 (from my notes)

So what does this look like for me moving forward?

It looks like me continuing to be intentional as a mother, but reminding myself daily to rest in His grace and trust that His hands  hold the plans and futures of my children, not mine.

It looks like me seeking Him for divine order for my life and my entire call.

And that looks like me spending time in His Word and in prayer so that I can listen and obey, only giving my time and energy to the things He has called me to do.

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